Post 22 – Books read so far

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We are almost three months into 2016. Perfect chance to say the cliched, yet true “Time just flies!”. I began 2016 with a bunch of resolutions: more reading and more writing. Of course, these resolutions remain constant in my list year after year. This time, however, I set more definite goals. I resolved to write one post everyday and read one book every week. The write everyday goal is not going the way I wanted it to, obviously; this post is only the 22nd post in 2016.

The reading on the other hand is going much better!

For 2015, my reading goal on Goodreads was 5 books! I was going through a major slump in my reading habits because my Master’s degree was keeping me busy, hence the measly 5-books-this-year goal. However, I managed to read 10 books in 2015. Of course, all the reading was in the second half of 2015, after my graduation, and majority of the reading was in December. Since I ended 2015 reading twice my goal, I decided to set a more challenging target for 2016.

For 2016, my reading goal on Goodreads is 15 books. I didn’t want to be too ambitious and set a very high number. 15 was definitely something achievable. Ideally, I want to read 50 books this year. I don’t know if I can achieve that but lets hope for the best.

When 2016 began I was spending almost all of my free time reading. I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to keep that up, knowing how quickly I can get bored of everything. The interest level has surely mellowed a bit, but it hasn’t completed faded out. It is more consistent working towards an equilibrium. Since we are one quarter into 2016, I thought now would be a great time to share the books I read so far:

  1. The Sceptical Patriot by Sidin Vadukut
  2. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
  3. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
  4. My Man Jeeves by P G Wodehouse
  5. Deep Work by  Cal Newport
  6. Looking for Alaska by John Green
  7. Give and Take by Adam Grant
  8. Originals by Adam Grant
  9. Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
  10. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
  11. The Communist Manifesto by Friedrich Engels

Note: I wanted to add links and details to the list but I am lazy and I really want to publish this post today!

Post 21 – On Writing

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Busy days and my own laziness prevents me from journaling every single day. I want to but I don’t prioritize my writing enough and when the schedule gets too hectic, I allocate my writing time for something else. That is because I underestimate the importance of writing.

I am just not my usual self  if I go for more than two days without writing. My head feels heavy because of all the thoughts that are waiting to be written. I am lethargic and de-motivated. I try to go about my day like writing is not the issue but it never feels right. It is like trying to work on a cluttered desk or in a cluttered environment.

I need to get my writing done. I need to get the thoughts out. I need to clear some space in my head and writing is what helps me with that. No matter what happens, I always come back to writing. I find solace in the simple activity of putting pen to paper. If I don’t have my notebook handy, I take notes using Evernote, but the joy of writing in my Moleskine, or any notebook for that matter, is next to none.

Like I have said before, “Writing is therapy“.

 

Post 20 – The Hour Before Dawn

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I have woken up early today.

Earlier than usual. The sun is not out yet.

As I sit to write I realize how much I love mornings. I love the peace, the silence and the stillness – they are all so hard to find during the day.

It is still dark outside. The sun won’t be up for another hour or so. I want this hour to me mine.

I walk on tip-toe, watching my every step. I do not want to disturb anyone.

Or anything.

I want to be a part of the morning, a part of this hour. I want the peace and the stillness and everything around to accept me as one of their own.

But I am not. I am an intruder. This is not my hour.

Everything around me is asleep and extremely still. It feels like they were all awake and alive; they froze into place as soon as I appeared. Nothing moves now.

The darkness makes everything look stealthy. The sun will bring them joy. I love this hour just before the break of dawn.

Only the clock continues to tick loudly, louder than ever. I never notice it during the day. Everything else remains motionless. Even my shadow seems reluctant to follow me.

The pen in my hand drops to the floor. It hits the chair loudly as it falls. I pick it up and hold my breath, looking around nervously.

Is the magic gone? Have I destroyed the peace? I wait silently…

Nothing changes. Nothing moves. Except for me and my unwilling shadow.

Post 19 – Dinner Scenes

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Dinner last night was spent in silence.

Neither of us was angry or upset. Yet, we didn’t say a word as we ate. Kishore Kumar songs were playing on my phone. We didn’t make a conscious decision to eat in silence. I think we were just lost in the melody of old songs and the beautiful lyrics as we ate our parathas.

Everyday, dinner usually involves animated discussions on various topics. Staying with family is fun. You don’t have to eat dinner alone. But not eating alone does not mean you are constantly engaged in conversation.

On some days you just want someone to share the silence with you.

PS: On a related note, dinner yesterday was Broccoli-chickpea stuffed paratha. It turned out great. It was very easy to make and so nutritious. Recipe here.

Post #18

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When I am traveling alone, I usually have my moments of inspiration and clarity. In these moments certain thoughts and ideas which otherwise would have never struck me, manifest themselves. I usually make a note using my favorite tool, Evernote. Here is a combination of two such philosophical ideas that I had on separate days last October.

Life on earth is pointless. Us humans are constantly trying to find a purpose, an end goal. But we are just rotating around the sun, with no mission or purpose. We (all living creatures on earth) are alone in this huge and expanding universe. What then is the point of life?

Perhaps the point of life is to find a mission amidst all this endless rotation and revolution. And so we have created States, leaders of state, a social and political system, given duties to people, created occupations just so we can keep our days on earth busy. We have created money and rights and duties to drive us.
The point of life is probably to learn; maybe it is about finding yourself, finding the person within you, the person who you are comfortable with, proud to be. The person who you can confidently flaunt without worrying about being judged. Life is about finding you that makes you, uniquely, just you.

The world is constantly throwing things at you. Fashion, movies, music, books and other things that you are supposed to like in order to belong. But life is exploring and experimenting all the things that get thrown at you to find the things that you really love.
When I read them now they seem funny and excessive. There may, of course, be an element of truth in them, but it sounds preachy. I don’t remember what inspired these thoughts; it might have been the book I was reading, or an article, or something I saw while traveling to work. But I do enjoy going back and reading these notes, laughing at them and using them as ideas for my blog.
Here is an old song that I had on my old Nokia phone for the longest time. I don’t remember why I had this song or how it got there, but it is a lovely song. Enjoy!

Post #17 – A month into 2016

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Source: unsplash.com

32 days since 2016 began, and I have written 16 posts so far.

50% of the days a post has been published; its like I wrote every other day. I started this goal of “one post every day” on the 4th of January. There should have been 29 posts so far, instead there are 16.

16 out of 29 is 55%. That is still pretty good considering my track record of giving up after four days.

I published only 5 posts in January 2015 and just 7 posts in January 2014. The total number of posts for 2014 is 39, and 28 for 2015.

2016 is surely better.

I can choose to beat myself up for missing out on 50% of the days so far, and give up. Or I can reflect, review, congratulate myself about the 50% of the days that I did not miss and continue writing.

I choose the latter.

Post #16 – On The Freeway (Poem)

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I smiled at my reflection
In the side mirror
Of our car.

The girl in the mirror
Did not  return the smile
She seemed lost
With lips,
Reluctant to curve
upwards.

I glanced away looking
At others in their cars
Some passing by,
Others we left behind
Each one forlorn
And lost
Eyes on the road
Hands on the wheel
Empty cars
On black roads
Under grey skies.

There were no honks
Or angry waving fists
No cows, pedestrians
There was no noise
Except the hum of rubber wheels
On tar
Rotating endlessly.

Post #15 – Happy Republic Day

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I began reading India After Gandhi a few days back. The book is 870 pages long and the reading has been very slow. I am only 11% percent done and so far it has been a good read. For me, reading a book is usually accompanied by reading about the author. This reading goes beyond the about-the-author blurb that is part of the book.

Reading about the author involves reading most of the articles that turn up on the first page of a search engine result. This invariably leads to reading various book reviews. I usually postpone all the extra reading till after I complete the book. The main reason is that I don’t want to chance upon spoilers that will ruin the reading experience for me. Another reason is that once I read a review, I tend to be biased and I end up not knowing how I really feel about the book. Also, reading other reviews AFTER I complete the book is a good way, for me, to compare my own thoughts to what others feel about the book.

But with India after Gandhi, things are different. There are no spoilers. Also, the book is extremely long and I am certain that I will take six months to a year to complete it. I cannot wait that long. So I decided to go ahead and read about the author, Ramachandra Guha. In the process, I came across his website today and read some of his essays.

I read three of them, all written in the last three months. I was pleasantly surprised to find that his essays resonated well with how I felt, albeit in a much more well-thought-of way. It has been very hard for me, in the last few years, to find good news articles. Most of the articles I come across are biased, especially regarding the Indian political scene. News articles are either extreme-right or they are extreme-not-right. Even opinions on social media seem to be binary, people either support the ruling party or they don’t. This makes me wonder, maybe people who are neutral don’t voice their opinions as much or everyone in the country has one of ONLY two opinions. I am guessing it is the former. Even leading newspapers seem to be blending opinions and personal bias with the news reporting. This has discouraged me from reading news altogether.

But Guha’s articles were refreshing. Also, it seemed fitting that I read them today, 26th January (IST). Here are a few points that we can reflect on as we celebrate our 67th Republic Day:

  1. From the article Are We Becoming An Election Only Democracy?

Parliament meets rarely— when it does, it resembles a dusty akhara more than the stately chamber of discussion it was meant to be.

Indian politicians are in danger of reducing our political system to an ‘elections-only democracy’. That, of course, was not how the founders of the Constitution conceived it. They saw elections on a multi-party basis as a crucial, but by no means the only, element of a healthy democracy. Parliament was supposed to be a theatre where policies were proposed, debated, and refined. The judiciary was meant to be an independent check on violations of the Constitution by private parties or public bodies. A free press and active civil society were meant to act as a mirror to where India was, and how Indians were doing.

Assemblies are rarely the venue of informed debate. Ruling party leaders do not take Opposition criticism in good faith. Nor do they respect the press very much either. Once Chief Ministers are elected, they think they can do pretty much as they like until the next elections come around.

2. On Narendra Modi and the RSS:

The Governor of the Reserve Bank of India has argued that an atmosphere of pluralism and tolerance is indispensable for sustained economic growth. This is not a belief that the Prime Minister appears to share. He seeks to be both a cultural reactionary and an economic modernizer, riding two horses at once, one taking him forward, the other pulling him backward.

I hope we can all come together as Indians instead of segregating ourselves and letting politicians and media widen the gap between us.

Happy Republic Day!

 

Post #14

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What shall I write? I have been sitting here, for what I think has been fifteen minutes, thinking of things to write about. But, it has only been five minutes plus a few wikipedia reads (for inspiration). It is so easy to get succumbed into the web of wikipedia research. One starts with a topic or person of interest, and a claim that needs verification. I started with “Is the lady who played Michael Scott’s real estate agent in one episode of The Office, Steve Carell’s wife?”

I open Steve Carell’s page, do a bit of reading, move to his wife’s page, (the real estate lady IS in fact his wife), read about her, her filmography, go back to Steve Carell’s page and do an in depth research of his filmography. This involves reading up about each of his films, his characters, his statements, award, and somehow end up at Writer’s Guild of America page. I backtrack and then start reading up again, and in a few minutes I am on Amy Ryan’s page, the lady who played Holly in The Office. I should have stopped when I found what I was looking for, but I didn’t. In the process, I found something to write about.

This (getting entangled in wiki research web) happens to a lot of people. Aziz Ansari has mentioned it in one of his standup routines. That reminds me, I need to watch the rest of the episodes of Master of None. I have enjoyed watching it so far and I plan to read his book, Modern Romance, as well. The first time I watched one of his specials on Netflix, I didn’t find him funny. I couldn’t complete watching that special because I found it extremely boring. I started watching Master of None expecting to hate it, but I enjoyed it, surprisingly! I should go watch that first special again to see if I find it funny this time around.  Sometimes, you need to give things a second chance.

I started with not knowing what to write and ended up writing so much. Thanks to my wikipedia research!

Post 13 – Noizio

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On one particularly noisy day at work, a colleague suggested an app called Noizio. The app is available for Mac and iPhone. It has a selection of music/sounds that will help tune out the noise around and yet it does not distract you from your work. This app works well for me because I cannot work while listening to music. I find it very hard to concentrate. I usually listen to piano music but after a while it can give me a headache.

This app offers sounds like October Rain, Thunderstorms, coffee shop, deep space, in the train, in the farm etc. My favorites include October Rain and Thunderstorm because they remind me of home and the monsoon. So whenever I turn on this app, one of them is always enabled. The app lets you enable multiple sounds at once and also adjust the level of each sound. It is a pretty cool app and the UI is nice and simple as well.

I don’t use it everyday because I am not a big fan of headphones. They are never comfortable and they hurt after a few hours.  But when it does get extremely noisy, this app can save the day.

[P.S: Deep space option is quite scary though. I never turn it on :D].